believe in you

you told me your world was dark
and that there was no reason
logical or otherwise
to remain in such a cold place.

you told me about overdosing
and your rapport with cheap vodka
you told me
like i didn’t believe you.

i believe you.

but that’s not the point
that’s neither here
nor there
you see, i don’t want you to go
though i know you can

i know you can.

simply disappear
from me
as quickly as you appeared.

i haven’t heard from you in months
and suddenly: a call
to tell me
you feel like dying
really really dying.

no, you’re not feeling
awful
and simply being liberal with words
the way a dramatist puts on
too much make-up

no, i believe you.

you mean dying
as in to stop trying and
to stop breathing and
to stop caring and to stop seeing
just to end
completely.

yes, i believe you.

there’s no doubt about that
but that’s not the point
that’s neither here
nor there.

i don’t want you to go
i like you too much and i
love you too much

i said it
whether or not you believe me
i guess is and is not the point.
i want you to understand
your absence would
shake everything
though you think it won’t

believe me, it would.

no, you’re not an ugly person
as much as you would like to believe so
i don’t believe you’re ugly
and that’s the point
you see?

i want you to stop thinking about dying.
i want you to stop trying to find reasons
for why you’re not worth
having around.
you’re so beautiful to me
and i don’t believe
i could handle you leaving
willingly.
i hold out hope
that you’ll find something to live for
because
believe it or not
life can be great
and after all, death will always be there
and it can wait.