Another year has grown up, expanded and begins to
fade. There is a storm outside my
curtains, rain, lighting, thunder, the works.
I am contemplative and in awe, perhaps more this year than any other
before it. Life is unexpected and I am
shocked continuously with everything that I must learn, haven’t learned or
learned seemingly by accident.
Thinking on writing this blog post, I tried to remember
January but it seems more than 12 months away.
It seems long ago, in a distant land that is and isn’t home. I suppose I’m always in awe by how much
changes in a year. As with every year, I
will try my best to do those beginning months justice. I don’t have my journals so I’ll get no
help. It’ll be an interesting
illustration of what I think are the brightest, hardest, most memorable bits of
365 days. On y va!
January: New Years
Eve and the beginning of a much too long saga of distrust, hurt, jealousy. Known in the gut and admitted aloud. I soldier on, stupidly, regardless. This is the beginning of the end of our
relationship. Meanwhile I dream of
school, of getting out of PTA, of everything that is comforting and yet, not
enough. I want more.
February:
Relationship is rocky and will continue to be despite best efforts. Make a very cute video involving a Ernie
puppet. Makes her cry. A happy moment. A photo album too. Continue to trudge along at PTA. Still adventuring and going to the
beach. Working and living. Simple life.
March: Dad’s
birthday, get him a gift certificate from fishing store. More adventuring on the weekends. Lots of time spent with friends and
girlfriend. Then an informal call from a
professor at the University of Montana telling me I got into the program. So, so, so, excited and happy! Nervous too.
Other two colleges—University of Colorado and University of Oregon—also offer
me admission. I weigh my choices.
April: I make my
decision to attend the University of Montana.
I’m excited but also very nervous as my entire life will be
changing. Every day I go to work, I
think about how I can’t wait to be back at school so I can acquire the skills I
need to a get a job that I enjoy and that challenges my mind. Also my birthday. A lawn party is planned but it rains so there
are no games to play on the lawn. Play
games inside and have mixed drinks.
May: Make 2 years at PTA.
Relationship continues to be rough.
I’m leaving, things are coming to an end and I feel another has already
been taking my place since January.
June: Continue to
work, continue to be in relationship.
Working and living and trying to have a little fun. These months are blurry.
July: Girlfriend’s birthday but we don’t spend it
together. I continue to prepare myself
for school. Try to soak up time with the
ones I love. Lots of crying. Finally tell boss that I
will be leaving PTA. Last day August 1. Dad and I go 4 wheel driving down to
beach. Very nice.
August: Done with
PTA, never thought I would see the day. Nice
going away party at work. Boss makes a
heartfelt speech, I’m touched. Going
away party with friends. Nice,
bittersweet. Spend last couple weeks
with grandparents and my parents. Fly
out to Montana in the middle of August.
Difficult flight, badly delayed, have to run to gate. Get into Missoula, catch the Green Taxi. It’s 100 degrees and I’m dressed too warm. Get to apartment, feeling alone. Roommate will arrive a week later. Girl I’ve been talking with but never met, we
meet and she helps me with my errands…getting things for the apartment. Intense orientation for Journalism
program. I wonder if I’m going to make
it. A trip to Butte, Montana. What a different world! I bike everywhere and love it!
September: Classes in full swing. Getting used to being in Montana. Hang out with the Journalism grad students
the most. Go to Glacier National
Park. It’s beautiful! Very busy trying to learn how to be a student
again and learning the ways of a journalist.
It’s uncomfortable sometimes.
Mountain biking with friends and hiking too. Start bouldering. Buy climbing shoes. Get a job working at phone-a-thon. Bring the bling-bling Bre. I don’t like it.
October: Getting
much more settled into school. Grad
students are my group of friends and we go on adventures together, ie Ghost
town. Mountain biking, biking to
Albertsons, getting closer with my roommate.
Fall in love with rock climbing.
Jump off of wall and sprain my ankle really bad, then get very sick at the same time. Low moment, bed ridden for several days. Get better, start biking again and top rope
climbing. Love it! Beers at K House. Dinner party at my apartment. It's a hit. Day of Dead parade. Good times.
Buy my own harness and belay device.
November: Semester
is whipping by. Trying to keep it
together. Lots of roommate bonding
time. Still biking though it’s starting
to snow now. Series of really cold days,
-38 with the wind chill. Still working
and really disliking my job. See Iron
and Wine in concert. Making friends
outside of graduate student circle.
Roommates birthday, lots of fun, food and blazing saddles. Thanksgiving at Kevin’s house.
Nice, mellow, low key. Start
trying HIIT workouts because I can do them from the comfort of my apartment.
December: Very
busy beginning weeks, final papers and exams.
More snow. Still biking, still
climbing. At 5.10s. Movie nights with roommate, Titanic and hot buttered rum. Return home to Hawaii in the middle of the
month. Rachel picks me up from the
airport. We catch up it’s so nice, like
I never left. Lunch at Miyos. Staying with my grandparents, also very nice,
also like I never left. Good talks with
friends and family. Went out with
researchers to Hakalau, pretty cool.
Trying to look for a story for my professional project. Spent Christmas with my parents and enjoyed
myself. Mom took a few days of
vacation. We hiked part of the Ala
Kahakai trail and it was wonderful. Got
a go pro for Christmas, so awesome! I
can’t wait to do some sporty things and shoot some video. Learned how to tile and I finally, finally
opened my eyes. This is the biggest
breakthrough yet. I suppose I was finally ready to
see the truth.
