Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves--
Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, August 6, 2011

stripping the morning pages for tenderloin

06/29
the moon looks like it belongs in some vampire movie.  a sliver in the southwest corner of god's celestial canvas, tumultuous and brooding clouds below--deep purple with red undergarments--and clear just above the horizon.  it's early morning and my ride has arrived.  i suppose i cannot paint the sky or the moon without some measure of tragedy.

07/03
i have every intention of climbing down into the valley today, but most importantly, i have every intention of climbing back out. 

each step is deliberate.

07/05
who wouldn't want to be the their own creator?  in the realm of language, i can be a queen, and more!  i am exactly natural, exactly exacting.  true flowing.

07/06
we who push along through our days.

the mountain is very imposing this morning and my heart hangs heavy in it's cage.

07/11
there are salutations slung over her shoulder like second thoughts.

how do you get the feel without the touch?

07/20
there is air trapped in my spine.  i try to exhale but perhaps its the change in elevation that is pressurizing me.  and i'm pressured to be as great as my name--the most glorious sunrise--but i don't feel so glorious sometimes. 

muzzle to your throat, my muzzle to your throat.  so soft, so soft i think it's butter cream frosting.  butter cream and my muzzle sniffing at your secrets. 

fog.  its as if i'm in a snow globe.  i half expect to see a huge, hungry eye waiting to see if i move then shake up the globe to see whose really playing dead.  and i am expected to emerge from the fog a moving and heartbreaking creature, something like a glorious sunrise. 

it's not the inhale i'm having trouble with, it's the exhale.  bubbles in the spine, some prehistoric condition of the bends. 

i remain a land locked line unable to return to the ocean but always, always flinting at its shore, squiggly, squiggly little wave want-to-be. 

the mountain is a stallion i palm and pet. and he breathes softly under me.  today we are one, mountain and me. 

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