2010 in a blog-shell

well, it's that time again. the point in the year where most americans scratch their heads and say"damn, is it done already?" yes, yes it is. and every year has gone faster than the year before. adults weren't kidding. and so, here i sit on my bed, facing a chilly december 31st morning. if only we were all so reflective for every day of our lives, cherishing it, examining it, being amazed. within the last month much has happened or perhaps i've been hyper aware. it's nice to think that i've made a conscious decision to set goals for myself and resolutions before the accepted jan. 1st deadline. this is a heoring feat for me and i'll bask in it for a moment...ahhh...

so 2010 in a blog-shell

January 2010:
The first of the year began with a hike down into Waipio valley. It was tough work on my recently healed left knee, but the ocean was beautiful. a voice re-emerged in my writing, one of longing and love. this voice made for some strong written pieces that would grace me later in the year. January was also a month of confusion. i worked at the hospital part time as a pharmacy technician. i had discovered a job i really, truly, didn't like. i had no passion for pharmacy work and it was difficult to function in this position without any real prior knowledge of pharamaceuticals. it was a challenge, but it paid well, really well, and i eventually got a system. meanwhile, i felt as though at the end of the day i had nothing more to give. i had reversed the roles; i was living to work.

February 2010:
this month brought a huge change. the pharmacy job was temporary and would only take me to the 5th of Feb. but i had been offered a spot on a six person training crew in southern CA starting Feb 1st. i jumped at the chance. i booked my flight (which i had to pay for up front and was do-able because of the money i made as a pharmacy tech) and left hawaii on jan 31. by the first of feb i was in a high altitude mountain town called idyllwild, just a little ways off the Pacific Crest trail in southern CA. i met up with my friend and fellow bear brooker who was also on the crew and we caught up on the few months that had gone by since Bear Brook. it felt good to wear my warm weather clothes again and to be drinking coffee independently in some place i didn't know. it was a beautiful scene. i felt like me again. the month was rough however. lots of disorganization between our organization and the PCT. we got some good projects done however, and i got in good hiking shape. we got snowed on during our 3 mile pack out of a canyon, but the high i felt after hiking was amazing. i cannot forget, that while i was there, i saw other bear brook alums who were on the PCT work crews. all in all, february consisted of conflicts and beautiful, beautiful scenes in nature. i felt revived. meanwhile i kept in good letter correspondence with someone back home.

March 2010:

the SCA leader program is wrapping up. more beautiful scenes, beer drinking in idyllwild and good music jamming the car. had a rock crush my middle finger. luckily that was the only injury i had from that crew. flew home in mid march. saw people at home. late birthday celebration with a friend. stayed at home for a while, but things weren't really working out. spent a good amount of time staying with a friend and doing her mom's yard for money. a strange time, my fear of fans was exposed and lots of other emotional issues and conflicts came to light. my writing thrived in my turmoil.

April 2010:

still struggling at home, trying to live with my father. comes to the point where i know i'll need to move out. i pack up all my things into boxes hoping to ship it to the mainland one day. meanwhile i am entertaining different jobs for the summer, all conservation crews. i decide to go with the SCA and do 3 crews back to back to back in Virginia. i am not excited about going to virginia. my birthday on the 21st. my friend takes me zip lining. i have a blast. april is still a time of emotional and mental turmoil.

May 2010:

i move in with my grandparents. things are much, much better. i have the space and solitude i need to write and be my own person. a big blow-up between a friend and myself. things are dark for a while, however, my attitude changes, i'm getting more positive and i start to get excited about Virginia. at the end of may i fly out for training in NY. we are at a camp just outside of Albany and it's beautiful up there. i get some good writing done especially because i am given the distance to think about everything that happened in hawaii since january. after the training i catch an amtrak up to vermont to re-unite with my friends from my SIT fiji program. we stay at a friend's ski house, drink wine and remember Fiji. we catch up on each other's very different, but very exciting lives. two live in NY city and one in Boston, the other floats around as much as i do. we spend lots of time talking and eating good food. at one point they want to camp out. i am not thrilled since i just camped out in march and will be living in a tent for 3 months but i go with it. in the end only one of the four come out to sleep in the tent, but i discover in the morning that she left in the night, not able to handle it and she took my shoes!

June 2010:

the beginning of june i was picked up in Vermont by my friends from New Hampshire. i said good-bye to my fiji friends. i probably won't see them for another 2 years. spent some time in burlington then back to bear brook where one of my friends works. beautiful to be back in NH!!! felt so good for my soul. we even had a small writer's bloc and went on a good hike! i was on cloud nine. then off to VA. so hot down there i immediately change into shorts and am taken to Lefty's for a delicious panini. my boses are very nice and very accommodating. i spend the first night at one of my bosses apartment and her fiance works for SCA. we chat a while and they are very cool. i'm feeling at home already. pick up my co-leader the next day. we are a good match for one another and get along nicely. he has good taste in music and experience with high schoolers. i follow his lead. our kids are good and some are very sweet. i really got attached to them (though i was mad when they went the wrong way on the AT and we thought we lost them!). we had lots of fun and i hadn't laughed so much in a while. epic walks back from the worksite chatting with my co-leader...lovely. ps. bob the weasle

July 2010:

another crew and another co-leader. took me a while to adjust to him, but once i did, i fell in love (not actually, but you know). our crew was WONDERFUL! these kids were different from crew one but i loved each one, truly. they did great work, really quality stuff and we had so much fun chatting in the cars at night and contradancing in roanoke or swimming in the new. oh, and i cannot forget all the photos atop mcaffee's knob! what a wonderful crew. i was very sad to see them leave. ps. tie dye!

August 2010:

yet another crew and another co-leader. back country this time so much more planning and things were hectic at first. i loved this crew too! so different from the other two but so wonderful. lots of rock work and they picked up on it right away! the bucking ponies we were called and we were, AWESOME! these kids had so much energy. from rock water bars to hiking to waterfalls, to ice cream in damascus to poison ivy and rubbing alcohol, to night swimming in the new and the 800 steps of the coal mine. these kids were great and i was very very sad to see my summer had ended so quickly. the summer, i can say, was the highlight of my year.

September 2010:

i don't want to fly home. i decide to fly to CA to visit a friend there. it's a fun time, i saw san fran for the first time and experienced some of the beautiful beaches and lighthouses of northern cali. i LOVED the redwoods and just bumming around marin county. long drives in beautiful warm weather and great farmer's markets. then took a train up the coast of CA and OR to visit another friend who was just moving into her new apartment in Portland. great gallery with sorenson's "new westerns" on display. made me cry. lots of good writing done on her stoop. then flew to AK to visit my pregnant and lovely aunty and her family. Alaska was divine!! i really enjoyed myself. took my uncle's mountain bike out almost everyday and rode the rocky road through the huge spruce pines. my soul rekindled again. beautiful month! end of September i left to work on a trail crew in PA. things were rough at first. i didn't like the work or the crew. i wanted to go home. but i didn't want to ruin my ties with SCA.

October 2010:

still in PA with the trail crew. things are better. i really connect with the guys and we go to the bar, drink beers and watch football. i start to really enjoy football. we all deal with our pains together and everyone agrees that some people are just difficult to deal with. in the end i have some pretty fun, pretty cool guy friends. we also get alot of the north country trail built. also i get to re-unite with two highschoolers in the Pittsburgh area. we have a blast!! it was so nice seeing them again! unbelievable. then i go home for 5 days. see my folks. it's relaxing. then i fly out from HI to AZ where my next trail crew is. immediately i like this crew and the desert is way better than i thought it would be.

November 2010:

on trail crew in AZ, getting a really good work out. we hike about 8 miles a day just going to and from work. we see all sorts of wild life and have so much fun with one another. we spend most of our days off in tucson which is a very neat place. go to the all souls parade and it is crazy! and fun! and full of costumes and music and lights and there are fireworks and acrobats doing aerial routines! so many beautiful sun rises and sun sets. i can't even describe. such a high point in the year. also i tried rock climbing for the first time and i am hooked. then flew back to hawaii in time for thanksgiving. my aunt and the new baby were there so i got to see my baby cousin! another highlight! and i moved all my boxes over to my grandparents house at that time. started looking for jobs immediately, just walking into places and inquiring.

December 2010:

went into a book shop, it is also a pride store. dropped off a resume. started talking to the owner and asked if i could help with PFLAG. next thing i know i'm involved with PFLAG and they offered me a part time job in their two stores, the book shop and a scuba and dive shop. i'm thrilled. i went stand up paddle boarding for the first time and have been working there since the middle of the month. i also file for some money on the side and hope to help with some PFLAG grant writing in January. i started "the artist's way" creativity program on the first of dec and have been going strong with that. i'm doing lots of writing and submitted to one competition already. my boss also wants me to start up a creative writing group as well, so hopefully that will happen in the new year!

wow what a year, what a great, great year! happy new year to all my readers...i need to rush off to work now :)