re-connecting

the light illuminates the house of majesty within me. 
tinkering tea cups with royal blue etching of roses,
blue without breath like faces gone to heaven. 
roses laid in snow in a forest somewhere so wild it hasn't been named after an explorer,
it is uncharted.  no map. 
simple growing up of trees like youth you forgot in some slummed out city. 
slummed out and slung out like drugs on a corner between the adult video store and the boys and girls club of america. 
they had good intentions. 

listening to cars rumble down the road in great haste
want to get someplace.
but nothing lasts forever so who cares if your late. 
worried that the population will be decreased tonight. 
someone taking flight out of a dodge strata,
into the stratosphere you launched out the windshield
because you were too cool for a safety belt because you were too free
and you thought because you were in a dodge that you could,
in fact,
dodge the pendulum that you yourself sent rocking
when you scooped up and threw back those thoughts of unspeakable glory of absolute omnipotence.  now we are one less here. 
and i'm watching light filter through a small glass of clear liquid.
could it be water? 
it stings my nose a little and hangs on my tongue all heavy and
full of desire to be exactly what it is. 

you are an animal and so am i. 
together we make a kingdom.

do you remember? 
when i loved you with the majesty of myself, with the god of myself,
let you sleep in the room of the ever rising sun?
oh don't let me linger on love like a scared student driver lingering at a stop sign,
look left
then right
then left
then right and see if you can see disaster before it comes. 
perhaps it's easier to let someone else drive.
remember when i used to blow through stop signs?
remember when i launched myself over the tracks while a speeding train almost severed my corpus callosum? 
no matter. 
i never really thought with more than half my brain anyway. 
when i loved you.  i was ruled by an entirely different muscle.  it's animal is it not?  love.
all heart beats and finger pads and lips and the light illuminating the iris of your green eyes,
your green eyes,
light making it impossible for gems to ever be great again. 

who would have known that roses grew next to pines and in the wintertime no less. 
these blue, blue roses etched. 
i dance to the beat until i feel that my fingers have gotten lost
and tangled up like tongues in mouths in dark closets
with sweat and your mother's sweaters.
feeling like ray charles just seeing the music as it unfolds. 
words are such beautiful things. 
who couldn't love words? 
there is no better high than the sex of words in your mind
and closing your eyes and jamming on the keyboard of some trusted laptop
in a room where you sit naked and let the words come all over you because that's what words do,
they take you over,
they love you and hold you and transport you to new lands,
lands so rich where you can eat as many danishes as you want and never get fat. 
this is for you my friend! 
the spewing of sound and words taking me back to that moment
freshman year in college when you felt alone
but then you tapped into something greater than yourself.
let the words fucking love you! 
let language fucking love you! 
let the light illuminate the house of majesty within you. 
in you.  in you. 
when you free yourself and close your eyes and let it all go, you're amazed to find how beautiful you truly are,
you without the garments of expectation and acceptability and social normalcy. 
you are ideal, a fucking god. 

blue, blue roses with two bees you come back to the imagined. 
to the animal of you and me. the love i gave you. 
the gift of the yarn in total isolation. 
what waters hold forth your solitude.  solitude.
this is beyond me, these are dolls in Buffalo skins,
warmed by the fires of little houses on the prairie. 
to tap into the freely fluctuating mind. 
to listen to the sound of fingers on keys like pebbles dropped into a river
and know that you are great,
you are great and have more wieght than gold. 
remember, not long ago, you were a soft creature
and you are a soft creature still. 
beautiful little blue bird. 
beautiful little blue bird with a blue rose in your mouth. 
you've come back to me.  you've come back.  i'm back.  oh i've missed this.  i've missed my words.  i've missed...mist