zombie

"i present as a zombie to this world"
this line has become my mantra.
it plays over my pupils,
pulsating
with the dilation of my life.

"i present as a zombie to this world"
is my answer to everything
right now
in this moment
a song drumming against my thoughts
staining my brain waves
reverberating in my skull

"i present as a zombie to this world"
sometimes i am caught by a stranger caring
that is to say i am caught caring by a stranger
or perhaps caught by a caring stranger
i cannot remember the difference now.

this place is built by zombies.
we are everywhere around you
our blank stares telling you we stopped giving a shit a long time ago.
we present ourselves to everyone and
everyone is at sometime, someplace
a zombie
it is our response to those moments in life we find to be
inane.

i present as a zombie to this world.
you know me.
i serve you dinner on the night you got your new promotion
i pump your gas while you curse being late,
i pour your drinks on your 21st birthday,
i am your teacher reading the same prosiac prose
i am a soldier and i am a nurse dressing your wounds
i am an actor and i am a pop star singing vacuous lyrics
i am a family member at a reunion
i am a lover in bed
i am your daughter and son and father and mother

we present as zombies to this world
so when you rattle off a drink order just under the speed of light
and you are blue in the face because you haven't come up for air in five minutes
do not think you are impressing me
or that you're better than me
because the ME part of me
isn't even here.
so take your pompous, self-righteous expanding waist-line
over to the other end of the counter and pick up your 1000 calorie frappucino
and get the hell out of the store.

"will that be all for you today sir? can i interest you in something to eat this morning? no? okay, your total is $7.12 please. do you have 12cents? no? okay. your change is $2.88. thank you, have a good day"


*i wrote this yesterday while on a break from work. i was working the cash register for a while when i was told to clean up the lobby (the place where the customers sit). i was inspired in the bathroom to write this as i bent down to pick up shredded tissue paper.