scatter-brained

this will be my 50th post. wow. perhaps i am as talkative as people say. i made a deal with myself, and perhaps writing it here will guilt me into actually keeping that deal. a post a day i said. shouldn't be too difficult right? it's about 7:30 pm and i'm not feeling like writing much of anything. in fact, all i'm doing is writing about how i have nothing to write. i make up all sorts of excuses in my head, mostly, i'm a morning writer and thus my zeal has gone down with the sun.

yeah, i'm not convinced either. i could continue on with the story from yesterday, but she's not in my head right now. the only voice in there is the nagging one that says, "now look what you've done. you've gone and told your entire fan base (all 4 people) that you'll write everyday, and now you're bemoaning your lot! why don't you just keep your trap shut?"

i can't help it, i like to talk.

i had an interview today. i think it went well. at one point i lost the connection, but i didn't even notice. it wasn't until the phone started ringing in my ear, did i think, "gee, i don't think she heard a word i said". of course, i admitted all this. why? why not? she laughed though i can't be sure it was in a favorable or disfavorable way. eh, no matter.

gee, i hope no one reads this. but i'll post it on promise. besides, i'll just have to get used to the fact that a large majority of what i write isn't very good. can't always expect the cream without the rest of the milk...or something like that.

i knew a guy who would say the most inappropriate or just plain lame jokes i'd ever heard. he would chuckle nervously to himself and offer up this excuse, "it sounded so much better in my head". probably where it should have stayed, i always wanted to reply. but i didn't because we all have moments like that. in fact, a majority of things in life seem better or at the very least, different in my head. i guess you just have to accept this fact and move on. there are times when i say things and i wish i lost the connection and someone missed the entire thing. that rarely happens though. guess that's what keeps life interesting. imagine if everything was as you thought it would be? beh! how boring.

i went for a walk the other day and the military must have been practicing some routines. i could see and hear the helicopter as it flew low and loud toward me. it was so close i could almost feel it ripping off my clothes (slight exaggeration there) and i wondered, all this action around us and we don't even know what's happening. i imagined that they were tracking me (highly unlikely as i'm of no political or national security threat, i mean, i work a shovel for a living, happily mind you, but a shovel none the less and my last name isn't jihad or anything (intentionally being racist for comedic affect...please no taliban supporters come after me)). i got lost in my parathesis. oh yes, the military tracking me. i thought, what the heck were these people doing up here on saddle road? pot farm! has to be. the government is cultivating some high end weed and putting it into the ginseng tea everyone is drinking...

i'm too tired for conspiracies.