a post from the field

Things are whispy and yet sharp. My eyes track easily over these edges. I know them well. It’s been some time since I’ve written anything purely for the sake of writing it. That is, besides letters, I haven’t just written. It feels strange and I worry about how this all sounds and who might discover me tapping away on this keyboard, talking to myself.

Perhaps I’ll be fearless, write this knowing that in the end I won’t save it. I will simply highlight it all and press the backspace. What if life were like that? What if we could all utilize the power of the backspace? Ah, but this has been thought before by much brighter thinkers than I and yet lull in this dream-like childish naivite. I mean, nothing can be taken back, truly, truly, as if didn’t exist, right? Yes, and even this writing as very boring as it is, cannot be taken back. Sure, I can swipe away the script, but the action, the minutes devoted to it will never return. So is there ever a truly fruitless effort? If effort involves energy there is always the energy spent, but is that fruit? Is fruit a product? Or perhaps more importantly, can fruit be a by-product? I scratch my head.

Another day, no dollar. It doesn’t bother me nearly as much as I think it should. Perhaps I don’t think ahead, perhaps I’m too simple. I push my big bull head against the window and contemplate responsibilities. A chill, and I stop. Too complicated. So what is there to think about if not the direction of one’s life? I contemplate comfort. I contemplate the long drive, and what I want to listen to and where my mind will sail. My lips feel whispy and yet sharp. It’s dry out here in the desert, those idioms and metaphors were right. My fingers are starting to thaw unfortunately just at the moment where my mind has begun to slow.

I kick up dirt in my dreams, mulling over memories. I try to curl my toes, yup, still frozen. Where was i? Oh yes, my dreams. If this were my personal computer I would launch into a diatribe detailing every nook and cranny of my dream world, but seeing as this could be bearing to too much to…