morning thoughts/mourning thoughts

it's 5:45 am and i am getting ready for work. i arm myself with discontent and clothes that make me look old, at least i think so. the day comes into view shortly and the way it looks always depends one the agenda behind my eyes. today, work, from the morning to the evening. i may see the sky for a half hour if i'm lucky. but of course, i'm dramatic, making my situation seem dire. the situation in haiti is dire. world povery and world hunger is dire. my job and my thoughts for the morning are irritants, uncomfortable friction against my soul's desire. this is in no way a dire situation. sometimes i need to remind myself of this fact, yes, things are what you make them and honestly i have it too good to be any sort of martyr. everyone deals with things they don't really enjoy in order to set themselves up for greater success in the future. keep your eye on the prize sort of mentality. and yet, i think, when do these adages and chiceed sayings become inadecate? yes, like Rocky, i need to remember never to give up kid. and i think, well, i don't like this very much and things about my current state bother me. however, do i put up with it? delay gratification? we cannot be content all the time. this is true. and so what do we strive for then if not the prize, or the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, if not a delicious cake that we not only have but also consume? and so i sit, drinking my coffee and feeling perfectly content to stab at this keyboard with my sleepy fingers. where does the time go? well, if there is one thing i am sure about, it's the uselessness of bemoaning the loss of time. time, time, never promised to stay, never gave the illusion of permanence. and here i am, spending time...